Weird and Nasty Breeds in the Plant Kingdom

Plants are often associated with beauty, new life and pleasant times, which makes sense. Sprouting as the days get warmer, filling our gardens and houses with colour and providing us with tasty sweet fruit are all things that we commonly relate to the plants we know and love. However, every group has its outliers, those few who refuse to go with the crowd, those non-conformists who want to be weird just for the sake of it, and plants are no different. Here are the rebels and the outsiders that you definitely wouldn’t want making an appearance in your kitchen, garden or anywhere for that matter.

Lithop

Lithop

Lithop

These little guys kind of look like the cross sections of a brain if you look closely, but more often than not they are mistaken for pebbles. Their flat and smooth surface makes this possible and the fact that they grow amongst shallow waters where similar stones are present. When they flower, bright yellow curls burst out from its center, but most of the time they just look like rocks. Maybe they have an evolutionary need to be skimmed across bodies of water.

Welwitschia Mirabilis

This odd plant does a really swell job of playing dead. It looks like a giant spider plant that has just lost a battle with a monster truck, but nobody has bothered to clear it up. This lifeless looking crop is found in desert like areas, which is kind of useful for anyone lost in one because this plant gives you no illusion of an incoming oasis. Though it looks flaccid, flat and shriveled this plant is actually alive and occasionally sprouts red flowers from its core, but it still looks like a cactus is having a bad hair day.

Corpse Flower

Just by hearing the name, I’m sure you are already checking this thing off your list of plants to get your other half for their birthday. The corpse flower is unsurprisingly pretty gross on several levels. Firstly, its leaves are the colour of tanned flesh, all funky looking browns and pinks, secondly the main feature in its center is an equally weird looking husk. Its centerpiece, if you will, sometimes resemble a dehydrated brain, full of deep lines, bumps and heavy indentations like somebody stuck a straw in it somewhere and inhaled its contents. As if its appearance isn’t unsightly enough, instead of smelling sweet or tangy this thing smells like a decomposing body, thus a perfect accompaniment to any kitchen table.

Hydnellum Peckii

Okay so this thing doesn’t sound as scary as the corpse flower, well until you hear its nickname – the bleeding tooth fungus. That’s right this thing is not only a nasty blob of white fungus that looks like a pile of live pus, but surprise it also bleeds, gross right? The answer is of course yes, from several pores all over its surface this thing secretes a crimson liquid that resembles of course the very thing running through your veins right this minute. If that doesn’t make you feel queasy enough already, you will be happy to know that these things are edible, see you tomorrow for brunch.